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A Mandatory Carrot Will Not Give My Kids an Eating Disorder
How I learned from, disregarded, and ultimately made my peace with the nutrition police.
This piece originally appeared in The Pomegranate.
There were a lot of reasons why I was so uptight the first few times I left my son with his grandmother. He was a 2020 baby and his social circle was, of necessity, stressfully small in his first year. I was a first-time mom (in a pandemic!). And I have a type-A personality that thrives on rules, order, and structure. So I wrote very long lists of everything that had to happen in order for my mom to watch my priceless angel child. My mom was understanding about it; she’s known about my anxious tendencies for as long as I’ve been sentient, and my worries can land safely with her.
At first, the lists I left included lengthy rules about warming up a bottle (warm water in a ceramic bowl! Never the microwave! Never cold out of the fridge!) and whether or not he could have Cheerios and puffs. As he got older and tried a few new foods, I started making little meals to store in containers in the fridge, still with instructions on what to give and when. Protein, starch, fruit, dairy, sometimes a little cookie or treat. With the meal, of course. Not as “dessert.” Dessert, I had learned, was not something…
