I intend to update this periodically as I come up with new material, so feel free to check back now and then! I’ll pin this list to the top of my profile, since no one is actually going to come back and check for new stuff of their own volition, unless they are my mom. (Hi, Mom!)
Some of my best-received workings in humor and satire may be found at the links below…
Trendy Diet Plans From Classic Literature
Literary weight loss isn’t a fad, it’s a lifestyle.
I’m Alexander Hamilton’s Third Child And I Find My Erasure Deeply Offensive
“I lived, I died, I have a story. And apparently, I’m gonna be the only one telling it.”
Literary Names Under Consideration For My Firstborn Son
Baby name books are out. Classic novels and fairy tales are in.
Jane Austen’s Guide to Being a Great Dad
Do’s and don’ts from the fathers immortalized by the famed author of Pride and Prejudice.
In Defense of Pretentious Fifty-Cent Words
I may be irritatingly loquacious, but at least I have the vocabulary to buttress my tendency toward logorrhea.
Doesn’t Anyone WANT to Earn $94 an Hour Working From Home?
I just want to share my good fortune with the world, but no one will listen!
How to Succeed as a Nineteenth-Century Novelist
Write like Charles Dickens, Charlotte Bronte, and other Victorian pros
Financial Advice for Young People in Elizabethan England
If thou wilt pursue wealth, thou shalt follow this foolproof advice
An Apologetic Letter From the Avonlea School Board to the Irate Parents of Gilbert Blythe
The protagonist’s character development is surely more important than a minor thwack to the head
What to Write In a Thank-You Note (Other Than “Thank You,” Of Course)
Hot tips for creating a memorable missive of gratitude.
Please Consider Me, a Humble Deep-Sea Blobfish, As Your Next Whimsical Baby Motif
Come on, you know you want your sweet little one’s first words to be “psychrolutes marcidus”
London Businessmen File Formal Complaint Against Ebenezer Scrooge
It is Ebenezer Scrooge’s fault that no one wants to work anymore
And my top five personal favorites (this list is, of course, subject to change):
I’m a Baby Who Refuses to Nap, and I Am Drunk on Power
No matter how hard my parents try, I insist on maintaining the upper hand
Help! I’ve Fallen Into a Mommy Facebook Group and I Can’t Get Out!!
I just had one simple question…
Ten Rock-Solid, Argument-Proof Reasons Why I Have Not Replied to Your Email Yet
“I’ve been using all my spare time to research honey badgers.”
Help! I Asked For Parenting Advice on the Internet and Now I’m Starting to Question My Very…
“Have you considered just being a better mom?”
Reasons Why Every Female Character On This TV Show Must Be Very, Very Thin
If the audience cannot see the characters’ bones, how will the audience know they HAVE bones?
Updates will be forthcoming, I dearly hope. In conclusion, if I’m ever published in The New Yorker, this list will be the first to hear about it. Well, after I’m done telling absolutely anyone who will listen, and also tweeting about it; if I remember to come back and update this page, THEN you’ll be the first to hear about it.